Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing...

When I was in college, I had this perfect vision of what it was going to be like to be a teacher. Now that I'm in my fourth year of teaching, sometimes I wonder what I was thinking to get into this profession in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I love working with kids. I love the actual teaching part of my job. To be honest, I can't see myself doing a job where I am not trying to help kids. I try really hard not to complain about my job. With that being said, this year year has been extremely challenging. After having so many health issues this year, work has been almost more than I can take. Every morning when I get up for work, I feel this aching in the pit of my stomach. I dread going to work everyday. I drop Ruby off at her sitter's house and drive away wishing I could spend my days with her. 


Aside from all of the state mandated testing, the paperwork, the long hours, and the huge class sizes, I have a really tough group of fourth graders this year. They talk back to me constantly, roll their eyes at me, curse at me, and don't care at all about learning. These things all happen on a daily basis... usually several times a day. I call parents, give detentions, suspensions, office referrals, they miss recess etc. Nothing ever changes. When I was a fourth grader, I would never dream of doing those things or saying those things to my teacher. My parents taught me to have respect for adults. My parents instilled in me early on how valuable education is. Sometimes I get really scared for the future of this country... and I get even more scared for the things Ruby will hear and see when she is in school. 


I'm stuck in a place where I want to do something different, but I don't know if I could leave teaching behind forever. It really think it could be a job that I love. Maybe I just need a break. Maybe I need to try another grade. Maybe I should take a giant leap of faith, buy a nice camera, and sign up for a photography class. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I guess something will eventually have to give...

Going to the Chapel...

... and we're going to get married! It's official on August 31st, Scott and I are tying the knot. I couldn't be more excited to marry my best friend. 


The truth is, I have been planning my wedding since I was probably ten years old. When I was younger, I always dreamed of this huge wedding. I dreamed of a big white ball gown. I wanted to have lots of bridesmaids and bright pink flowers all around. I imagined inviting every person I ever knew and having the biggest, most extravagant wedding. 


It's funny how time changes things. Now I plan on having a small and simple summer wedding with only our family and closest friends. I don't want anything over the top, just simple and classic. I've realized that it doesn't matter how much money you spend on the wedding because at the end of the day the important part isn't the wedding day, it's the vows you make and the life you get to share together.

Wordless Wednesday...

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Strike!

A few days ago, we took Ruby bowling for the first time and we had a ball! We went on a Friday night and we didn't use the bumpers for her (which we probably should have). Although she didn't get very high scores, she kept trying and didn't get discouraged when she would get a gutter ball. In fact, she would scream "gutter ball," with a big smile on her face. I can't wait to take her again!

Hello 2012!

I always look forward to a new year. Usually I don't make resolutions because I never keep them. This year, the one resolution I made is to take time each day to appreciate the little moments. After I cleaned up from dinner tonight, Ruby and I were playing in her room and we had the tickle war of the century. She has the cutest laugh that comes from way down in the gut. We were having the best time ever. Those are the little moments I want to take time to appreciate every single day. It's moments like those that get me through each day. 

This year I have many big hopes:

*A healthy family...

*To find a job that doesn't stress me out so much...

*A bigger house... (sigh)

*Marrying my best friend... 

*Another little one...

Wow... I really have my work cut out for me this year!

Cheers and Happy New Year!